IT IS the worst nightmare of every new parent. But for one couple from Yate that dreaded dream became a reality when, on January 15, they discovered their five-and-a-half-month-old son had died from cot death.

Inexplicable and unbearably fast, Michelle and Jason Hannant's beloved son was taken from them forever.

Michelle will never get over the loss of her first baby Ben, but to help ease her pain she has written a tribute to him which will be performed in Bristol next week.

Here, Michelle explains to Ali Dent the torrent of emotions she has experienced in the past three months and how she hopes her play will help rebuild her, and her family's life.

"AS FAR as I was concerned, when I put Ben down to sleep the night before, I just took it for granted that he would wake me up the next day.

"But it just didn't happen.

"One day our every minute revolved around Ben - constantly changing nappies, making up bottles, paying him all the attention in the world.

"The next day: nothing.

"Everything feels like it has been snatched away from us. The pain is raw - it is ndescribable.

"Jason and I were very cautious parents as Ben was our first born. We did everything right and even took extra steps like attaching a camera to his cot to monitor him.

"Ben couldn't have been looked after any better - we couldn't have cared for him any more or given him any more love than we did.

"We have been assured there was nothing we could have done but when Ben died, as his mum, I really felt that somehow I failed him.

"As a family we feel numb, empty, angry and cheated. The grieving is like waves and we constantly feel low but try to remain focused.

"Obviously we wish we could wave our magic wand and have him here with us, but we have had to accept he has gone and feel we have been given a purpose to help others.

"As heartbreaking as it is, cot deaths remain a mystery that science is battling to resolve. That is why we have decided to stage a production to raise money and awareness for research, so hopefully one day in the future, they will find the answer and hopefully prevent cot death.

"Jason and I have specifically asked for the money to be forwarded to the South West Infant Sleep Scene Study, funded by the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths.

"Foundation has been a fantastic support. It provides a befriender service and I have been writing to a woman from Devon and have spoken to another bereaved mother.

"It has really helped to speak to someone who has gone through the same experience and how they coped and moved on.

"Since Ben's passing I have also found comfort in listening to music, reading and

writing poetry.

"Then I was given a book by the psychic medium John Edward, which mentions a song Remember Me This Way. It inspired me to write this production of the same title,

because when I look at photos of Ben, I see a beautiful, radiant and happy baby and it is like he is telling me remember me this way, which is just what I do.

"The production is a fantasy about a ghost who forms a special bond with a human girl. It is of great sentimental value and depicts moments and memories of Ben but is also a roller coaster of emotion and excitement with music, dance and visual effects.

"The project has given me a great sense of direction. I feel like I have a purpose to help others and I am doing this for 'my little man'.

"Losing a baby is just the most unbearable pain.

"But in the five-and-a-half-months Ben was with us, he brought so much happiness. We were blessed to have him for that short amount of time than not to have known him at all."

* Remember Me This Way in memory of Ben Michael Lee Hannant is on at The Park, Daventry Rd, Knowle, Bristol next week between Thursday and Sunday (7.15pm). All money raised will go to the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths.